Bush is the worst thing that ever happened to America. In the few years he has been in the Whitehouse, America has rapidly slipped from its position of strength in the world, and its people have had their freedom, security and economic stability jeopardised. Cool.

I loathe Americans. And yes, of course that's a generalisation, before all you second-year high school students start wetting yourselves. It's impossible to live life without generalising. Otherwise no one would trust doctors, and schools would be happy to employ convicted paedophiles. There are exceptions to every rule. The trick is to generalise only where conditions appear to be averagely valid - and in the case of Americans, that average includes an inflated sense of self-importance, a near total lack of grace or empathy, almost porcine self-interest, and blinkered nationalism. And that's the short list. I have met a handful of Americans who were warm, compassionate, self-deprecating and genuinely intelligent - but they are a handful. The majority of Americans remain loathsome, abhorrent and, truly nauseating. The US is the only country in the world where they should hand you the sickbag after you step off the plane.

And that's why I want them to vote for Bush.

I am sick of hearing Americans brag about their military strength, their wealth, their contribution to Western democracy- all of it such bollocks. America has contributed almost nothing to the world, except crass pop culture, cheap and nasty mass production, and a lot of hot air. It has never done anything save to serve its own self-interest. It has never fought for democracy except where it serves as a smokescreen for grasping self-interest. It is neither the 'land of the free' nor even the 'home of the brave'. American troops bombing civilians from a distance is evidence of neither.

In the last year, America has shown that its trumpeted military power is simply smoke and mirrors. It can't even control and occupy a couple of third world countries. American troops, armed with the latest technology, are having to beg for British help in the Sunni triangle, faced only with a bunch of desperadoes armed with 40-year-old Kalashnikovs and a handful of aging rocket grenades. It would be funny if it weren't so pathetic. Since D-Day, the US has demonstrated a total lack of military savvy. Technology is nothing if it's not backed up by the two most important pieces of military equipment - a quick wit and a stout heart. America has neither, and all their mass factory production can't produce it. America is embroiled in a war of self-interest which is crippling its economy and killing its sons - no one except its own loathsome citizens has ever been fooled by the excuses and lies of the American government about why.

Under Bush's presidency, America is fast losing any respect that it once had. Even the poorest countries are now prepared to stand up to the US. European countries have already demonstrated that they are prepared to turn their back on America. American citizens, and indeed their president, cannot travel the world without fear of hostile reception or physical attack.

Despite his constant refrain of 'war is peace', the fact is that Bush is pushing the globe further towards instability and war with every step of his, and his government's, aggressive and self-serving political journey. Before Bush came to power, who had heard of Al Quaeda? Yet now, it seems that Americans everywhere are in constant danger of attack. Far from working for peace, Bush is doing his very best to create and nurture terrorism in more and more countries. And it's not just the terrorists Americans should worry about. Bush is pushing America closer and closer to an inevitable clash with the other developed nations, which, unless things change, is going to get very interesting indeed.

And it's not even as if all this benefits the average American in any way. Far from reaping the rewards of their government's militaristic posturing, the American people are having their freedoms eroded, their economy punctured, and their personal safety put at risk.

For years now, Americans have made themselves loathed throughout the globe with their entirely unjustified sense of self-importance, their nauseating culture of self-interest, and their simple inability to get on with the rest of us. In the last few years, it's begun to rebound on them. Another 4 years of Bush will see American even more isolated and weakened - economically, militarily, and politically.

Just as America stood by and waited for Europe to weaken itself through war in 1939, before stepping in to grab the spoils and collects its money, it's now Europe's turn to wait quietly while America cripples itself with misguided wars and inept foreign policy.

Ultimately, the best thing Americans can do on Tuesday is to vote for Bush. The best thing for those of us who want to see Americans so deservedly taken down a peg or two, that is. So go on - vote for Bush. Give us all a laugh.

The Illusion of American Power

"America dominates the western world politically, economically, scientifically and culturally. "

In one form or another, this is one of the most common assertions made in the forum and in the e-mails we receive. It's usually stated as a given, without needing to be supported by reasons. So this week we thought we would look into this claim, examining the truth of how much, or how little, America really dominates the world.

America dominates the world politically.

If this were true, America would be so indisputably powerful that it always gets its way. Except that it doesn't. Look at the Iraq war. As causes go, this should have been a pretty easy one to argue. But America's attempt to get the UN to agree to the resolution failed dismally - and in a tremendously embarrassing way for the 'politically dominant' US. Where were all these politically subordinate countries which rushed to agree to whatever America wanted? Hmm. Remember the laughable list of 'allies' in the war against terror. Look at the first country on this list - Afghanistan! Followed by such mighty political allies as Eritrea, Micronesia, and Latvia. Can anyone hear a hollow scraping sound? And then Turkey - that mighty superpower - refused to let America use its military bases. The frantic and undignified combination of begging and threats which followed can hardly be construed as 'political dominance' even by the average American. The sad thing is, that after the deaths of 2000 innocent American citizens on September 11th, almost the entire world was firmly on America's side. Yet over the next 18 months the American government's prize-winning political ignorance dispelled all this good-will, turning most of those countries against it, and losing most of the support it had. At the one time when the US had the world on its side - it blew it. Not only is America not politically dominant, but it's not even politically canny.

Let's look at an example of America's 'political dominance' in the news this month. 'Bush Tries to Win Latam Friends' reads the headline to this piece on the Reuters website, which goes on to say:

Once again, those political giants Brazil and Venezuela are refusing to play ball. A politically dominant country would put these countries firmly in their place - not send their President scuttling off to try to bury the hatchet. Hard to imagine Caesar rushing off to appease Gaul with friendly handshakes or Queen Victoria having to be shipped out to Africa to placate a disgruntled Cetawayo over tea and a ceremonial Zulu war dance.

Of course, Americans reading this will instantly think 'but America didn't need to get approval from anyone else, we just went ahead and took out Iraq anyway'. That's not much to be proud about. Britain, France, Germany, Spain, or just about any developed country would have been able to overpower Iraq with just as little resistance. Bombarding a country which has been starved of funds by economic sanctions for the last ten years is not much to boast about - and certainly doesn't indicate a particularly high level of world 'dominance'. Particularly when that country continues to kill American soldiers at the rate it is currently achieving. Only a country so desperate for something to be proud of could think that pulling a 70 year-old man out of a hole in the ground was a great military accomplishment. Whilst America may have been able to purchase enough ordnance to bombard Baghdad, it actually had to buy off the Fedayeen, and has failed dismally to establish itself as an occupying force.

The fact is, the US has never won a war without help. And even then, it usually loses. Vietnam, Korea, Afghanistan, even the current Iraq debacle. None of these represents the kind of one-sided victories one would expect from such a 'dominant power'. What chance would America really have of prosecuting a war with any of the developed nations? The most accomplished arm of the American military is their PR department, which has probably had to fight their toughest battles, and whose latest military victory was to claim that America 'won' the cold war - something one hears more and more these days. America didn't 'win' the cold war. It took part in one of the longest military stand-offs in the history of human conflict, and then claimed victory when the other side got bored and went home for its tea. Hardly impressive. America's claim to superpower status is a piece of wishful thinking left over from the heady days of the cold war, when it's nuclear arsenal actually meant something. That nuclear arsenal has lost any value it once had, now that so many countries have the ability to fire back.

A Roman citizen could famously declare 'civus Romanus sum' anywhere in the world - and would receive respect & safe passage. Would receive them because every other country was so scared of incurring the wrath of the Roman empire. The same was true of a Briton travelling the world at the turn of the century. Compare this with the barricades around the London branches of America banks, and the unprecedented private army which George Bush needed on his state visit to Britain last year. And this is in the capital of one of America's closest allies! Any country which is so nervous for the safety of it's citizens and it's premier can hardly be said to dominate the world in the same way that Rome or the British Empire dominated.

The fact is that, in both political and military terms, America - one of the largest countries in the world - is actually only capable of 'dominating' the very weakest nations, is forced to buy the temporary support of the poorest, and does not hold enough weight to guarantee the safety of its citizens abroad - even in allied countries..

So, if America is neither politically not militarily dominant, perhaps it dominates in other ways?

America dominates the world economically.

America currently owes the rest of the world $1.2 trillion dollars. Say that aloud to yourself slowly. One point two trillion dollars. That means each American citizen owes just under $5,000 to another country. Of that sum, they will owe around $2000 to Japan alone. Some economic dominance huh? America's 'riches' are actually an illusion. Borrowing large sums of money might make you feel richer than other people for a short time, but all it actually means is that you are more in debt. This is a mistake made by naive students the first time they get approved for an overdraft...and by the US government.

'But the US dollar is the preferred unit of currency around the world' we hear you cry. Well, strictly speaking gold is the preferred unit of currency for the connoisseur. For those Americans who may have gleaned the wrong impression here, people all over the world do not wander around with wallets full of dollars. The exception being, of course, black marketeers, underworld criminals, and Saddam Hussein. Perhaps this is an indication of how easy it is to launder American currency - and that is nothing to be proud of. For the reputable financial entities, dollars are a convenient denomination to make sure everyone is using the same yardstick, but that's possibly because, since so many countries are owed so many of the 1.2 trillion American dollars, it's easier to swap the IOUs directly, than to bother converting them into other currencies first.

Now, there is probably at least one economic specialist amongst our readership who no doubt will put up some argument proving that America is richer than everyone else. But most 10-year-olds can probably work out that a country with a debt of $1.2 trillion dollars is probably not as economically dominant as it might like to think.


America dominates the world scientifically.

Actually, of all the claims, this one appears to hold some water on first inspection. America put the first man on the moon. America's 'Spirit' mission certainly had more success than Britain's 'Beagle'. America has sophisticated weaponry, Silicon Valley, and Nobel prize-winners galore. Unfortunately, most of this scientific superiority is based on an illusion. Most of the expertise is purchased from abroad, including the scientists themselves. Einstein and his ilk were tempted to America presumably with part of that $1.2 trillion. If this website were to borrow enough money to hire the entire staff of Microsoft for a day, we would be the most technologically advanced website on the internet (and our PHP forum might work). Unfortunately, this wouldn't make any of us any more intelligent. Home-grown scientific expertise would be the only true claim to scientific dominance - and in that sense, the US is sadly lacking. Next time you watch a documentary about some American technological advance, there is a 50/50 chance of the person interviewed being Japanese. In the case of the 'Spirit' probe, any pride over having done so much better than the 'Beagle' must be tempered by the fact that the British can try again 10 times before they spend the same amount of money that 'Spirit' cost. And, so far, 'Spirit's' progress hasn't exactly been trouble-free either...

Yes, America has some claim to scientific dominance over the rest of the world, but that dominance comes with a huge price tag on it, and will only last until Japan asks for its money, or its scientists back.


America dominates the world culturally.

America has flooded the world with the finest composers, the giants of literature, and the greatest thinkers. America has provided the world with the most highly valued works of art, the most superb culinary dishes, and the most refined fashions.

Right?

Well not quite. America's cultural legacy to the world seems to be based more on McDonalds, Nike trainers, baseball caps, Hollywood action movies, Britney Spears, and 'The Simpsons'. What this actually means is that America is fantastic at exporting popular culture. Popular culture by definition is transitory, worthless, and uninspiring. Any 'cultural dominance' which America can claim is confined primarily to Japanese teenagers, and European pre-teens. Rome created a lasting template for systems of government and justice. Greece built the foundations of philosophy, science and mathematics. Egypt continues to whisper its mysterious spiritual fascination down through the ages. Britain gave the world its lingua franca. America invented the hamburger.

True, America has produced some fine writers, though none of them compares with even the middle-ranking authors that other nations have produced. It has also produced some composers, some artists, even some philosophers. That is the reason for the first two words in this website's title. However, in spite of its masive population, the sad fact is that America has produced a paltry number of cultural giants compared with just one European country.

At the same time, America has not provided the rest of the world with templates for systems of justice, or government. It has not built railways, or even roads, across the globe. Unlike the great nations of history, when America finally collapses there will be nothing left to show that anything was there.

A nation with huge debt, able to dominate only the weakest nations millitarily, with less political clout each year, and no cultural heritage worth speaking of. This can hardly be a great superpower.

The fact is that American dominance is an illusion, and the misplaced belief of Americans in their country's political, economic, scientific, and cultural domination is based on the greatest illusion of all - the illusion that somehow the US is a great civilisation comparable with the Roman, Greek, Ottoman, Maya, Aztec or British empires. Two important facts militate against this idea. Namely, that America is not great, and is not a civilisation. America is the dog-end of a civilisation best described as Western Democracy, which itself is already in decline. It is better compared to Byzantium than to Rome. Incabable of dominating the other developed nations, either politically or militarily, America's only claim to power is the fact that it can, and often does, bully much smaller, much poorer countries. And even then, it owes what little success it can claim to massive and imprudent over-borrowing.

America is not a superpower. It is not even a truly dominant nation. It is simply a chicane.

Everywhere we look these days, we keep hearing about how America is in the business of 'exporting' democracy. As if somehow, the United States has filed for the patent on some wonderful new political idea, and is now mass-producing it for the world's benefit. But, contrary to what may be taught in American schools, America did not invent democracy. The system of government of the people by the people was devised by the Greeks, who gave it its name (literally 'rule by the people'). The Romans also did much to inform modern notions of democratic government - it may surprise some Americans to learn that 'senate' is actually a Latin word which pre-dates the American version by some 2000 years. Nor was America the first developed country to establish a system of democracy based on the Greek and Roman models - its present system is almost identical to many European versions which were already in place before Abraham Lincoln was wearing long trousers. Judging by the farce of Bush's election, one could even argue that America's version isn't even much good. Yet, like some new method of giving up cigarettes, the United States appears to feel that democracy is some new revelation they have experienced, and desperately want to force on everyone else.

Interestingly, democracy is not the only 'invention' that America seems to have claimed as its own, in spite of the fact that the real credit should go to someone else. Many of the posts on this site, and e-mails that we receive, cite American inventions as reason to respect, nay thank on bended knee the United States. So this week we thought we would look at America's past record on inventions. What has the United States given the world?

The lightbulb.

Err, that's about it isn't it? Let's look this week at some of the things many Americans seem to think they gave us, but didn't.

The Motor Car. A German invented it. An American found a way to exploit it. You can always guarantee that if someone else has a good idea, there will be an American on hand to get rich quick on the back of it. While the rest of the world provides the brains, the US is the ultimate corporate middle-man. And the Germans still make them much better anyway.

Television. Let's not start all that. Philo Barnsworth simply did NOT invent the TV. Given the almost pathological reliance on TV most Americans seem to have, it's hardly astonishing that they should feel such a need to claim it as their own invention. What was invented in the US was the 'TV dinner'. Not quite so impressive, and - like most American inventions - far more ruinous to the health.

The Computer. You can take your pick of any number of candidates for the invention of the computer, but none of them is Bill Gates. The Henry Ford of modern times, Bill just nicked the idea and made a buck out of it.

Rocket Travel. Although Americans love to think the Apollo missions represent a distillation of good old Uncle Sam know-how, the truth is that most of the know-how was provided by Nazis, whose usefulness easily outweighed any crimes against humanity for which they may have been accountable. Perhaps it is only fair to point out that there was at least a lot of moral inventiveness here, even though it's not quite the same thing.

The Aeroplane. The first public demonstration of flight was made by a Brazilian in Paris. The Wright brothers, in the best American tradition, claimed the invention of flight as their own - even though their version was conveniently unauthenticated, and failed to meet the criteria of true heavier-than-air flight. All is explained here. The fact that Americans have had to simplify the spelling of the word to 'airplane' is good reason for suspecting that they probably didn't have the brains to invent it in the first place.

Now let's be fair here. What about some of the things America DID invent?

Fast Food
Coca Cola
Crack cocaine
Gun crime
The video game

Spot anything? That's right. They're all bad for you. America has never invented penicillin, or devised a means of transplanting hearts. The US's contributions to the field of medicine have been the face tuck and the breast implant. While other countries have invented the seed drill or the threshing machine, America invented the recipe for Kentucky Fried Chicken. The telephone & radio had already been invented when America had its chance to add to the list of leaps in communication, with the invention of the Internet. Sadly, all it managed to do was provide the world with the most impressive means of accessing pornography ever devised by man. True, it has also provided us with a place to be unpleasant about them, for which we will always be grateful. Of course, there must be something invented by an American which has greatly improved the world. It's just that the only one we can think of is the lightbulb. For a country of 290 million inhabitants with a 200 year history, that's not much of a record.

When it comes to innovation, America's track record is not impressive. Most of the time, the United States has taken other people's ideas and found ways to turn them into cash-generating scams. On the rare occasions that the country actually produces a new idea, it is, sadly, usually something which increases your weight, turns your brain to mush, or kills you.

And still the United States continues to see itself as some self-help guru for the world. Just swallow the Uncle Sam Pill, and you too can be happier and more fulfilled. But what exactly is it that America offers the world? What can newly 'liberated' countries like Iraq and Afghanistan look forward to? Fast food, inner city crime, plastic surgery, Michael Jackson, and a gameshow version of democracy. No wonder they are still resisting..

In the few weeks that it's been online, we've had many thousands of American visitors posting in the comments section. Almost all of them demonstrate

1. A near total lack of ability to laugh at themselves

2. An unprecedented level of aggression

3. An astounding inability to see beyond the obvious.

4. A lack of individual opinion

5. The inability to relate to & empathise with the world around them.

Now. Give that list to the average psychiatrist and they would recognise most of the signs of psychopathy. Give it to a historian and they would tell you it was a perfect description of the average Nazi. Perhaps that's the same thing

It's ironic that the three political entities which have used the eagle for their national symbol should be Rome, Nazi Germany, and the United States. Perhaps the similarities between the average American and the average Nazi are not that unsurprising.

After all, a huge proportion of the American population emigrated from Germany in the late 19th and early 20th centuries, injecting much of the culture that fuelled the careers of Kaiser Bill & Herr Schickelgruber. Whilst today's German culture has radically changed due to the events of 1939-45, America seems to have carried on growing culturally in the direction that Germany would have gone without the lessons of the holocaust. After all, the only country left in the world with 'ghettos' is the United States. It's also the only country today where the terms 'nigger' and 'fag' are regularly bandied about pejoratively. Where else in the world would the Ku Klux Klan still manage to find recruits for it's orgies of white supremacy? What other country has had such wide-ranging anti-communist 'purges'. And Hitler would have been impressed by Bush's ability to whip his people up into such levels of nationalism by wrapping it up as patriotism. Then toss in things like the election 'coup' and the dismantling of the constitution under the banner of terrorist threat...the parallels just go on and on. The United States is the militarily dominant National Socialist state which Hitler could only have dreamed of.

People will argue that the United States joined the fight to remove Hitler from power. But remember, it only did so after Japan and Germany declared war against America. Perhaps, like 9-11, the Second World War was really just another excuse for military mobilization. Perhaps the mobilization taking place from 1942 onwards was not, after all, in response to Churchill's pleas for help in ridding Europe of Hitler. Perhaps it was more far-sighted than that. Think how quickly after 1945 the US began flexing its new military muscles. After all, the US did very well out of the war. It went from a power to a superpower. Hitler could take notes from Roosevelt.

Fortunately for the world, America was held up for 50 years or so by the Cold War. It's interesting to see how, now that their arch-rival has been removed from the stage, the territorial ambition begins.

Of couse, it's a la mode to draw parallels between America and Nazi Germany - but the problem is that every time an America opens their mouth, it just seems to reinforce the point. Maybe Bush is the next Hitler. Maybe not. But one thing is certain - with so many stupid Americans about, if someone like Hitler does come along, they will find the conditions very ripe.